Pathways: Those With No Pips At All
by JadziaKathryn
Summary: They may only hold the rank of crewman, but they still have stories to tell.
1. The Other Harry

Disclaimer: If you recognize them, I don't own them. If you don't, then I made them up. 

A/N: This story is a spin-off of Jeri Taylor's novel Pathways. If you haven't read it, I recommend it. I plan to explore the lives of crewman through this story. 

THE OTHER HARRY 

"Hey, look who finally decided to show up!" said Ralph Nester. "It's Telfenni!"

"Harry, you **are the one with the boards," chided Riya Kalay.**

"Sorry, I was helping Tuvok test the phaser rifles." Crewman Harold Telfenni was a young ambitious human, well liked among _Voyager_'s crew. Shaking his head slightly to move a lock of dark hair, he placed the two cribbage boards on the table in a far corner of the mess hall. 

"You know, they aren't going to promote you even if you do work overtime." Ralph liked his job, but he much preferred cribbage. 

"He's young. By the time we get home, he could be an ensign. Maybe even a lieutenant j.g." Kelly Herof piped in. 

"Sure. You're using that Betazoid telepathy, and Janeway's going to promote him two days from now."

"Only a quarter Betazoid, genius, and I'm hardly even empathic." Ralph and Kelly had had this discussion before. 

"So, how am I feeling right now?"

"You're in a good mood. That doesn't require any skills at all, because you're always in a good mood on cribbage night."

Kalay, a petite Bajoran, looked at her friend thoughtfully. "You are really young, Harry. How old are you?"

"Twenty-one last month, in Terran years."

"What? Your birthday was last month? I can't believe I missed a chance to embarrass you!" Ralph picked up a deck of cards and began to shuffle. "Well, I'll just have to embarrass you now. You can even go first."

"How'd you end up out here?" asked Kelly as she shuffled the other deck. "You couldn't have even been twenty when we got stuck out here."

Ralph feigned indignation. "They're letting teenagers into Security now? What is this universe coming to?" He himself was the ripe old age of twenty-six.

"So that's why you didn't ask Melanie Carson out," mused Kelly. "You're afraid you're too young."

"She knows this because she's telepathic," accused Ralph, at the same time Harry protested, "Teador beat me to it! Anyway, she really likes him."

"It worries me that we entrust our engines to someone who doesn't know the difference between telepathy and empathy. And Harry, you never know. You'll meet the right woman yet."

"Engines? I'm lucky if I even _see the engines! I scrub plasma conduits. I check the coolant. I replace bio-gel packs. When I'm lucky, I do routine maintenance like fixing doors and sonic showers. One thing I don't do is touch the engines. Torres would have my head." He paused to frown. "But we weren't talking about me. How come you joined up so young?"_

Harry pushed the thought of his recent disappointment out of his mind. "I grew up on Reolis V. Have you ever heard of it?" When all his friends shook their heads, Harry went on, "It's a colony nearly in the Beta Quadrant. Mostly humans, although one continent has a large Tellarite population. Anyway, the settlers rejected all stellar exploration and sophisticated technology generations ago. I'd never heard of a transporter until I joined the 'Fleet. Once we graduate from high school, we are expected to get a job and settle down into a life like our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents before us. I just wasn't ready for that. 

"The _U.S.S Sarek came to Reolis just after I graduated. Every eighteen months the planetary leaders meet with Starfleet, formalities they do because it's one of those inactive member planets. So I saw a couple of security guards buying presents for family members in the market, and I asked them what they did. It sounded a lot better than my prospects at home."_

"Why didn't you go to the Academy?" 

"I'd just finished twelve years of school, and I was never a big intellectual powerhouse. The idea of four more years of school didn't appeal to me."

"Oh."

"What I want to know is why you picked security. I'm only in security because that was the only place for me." Kalay didn't really mind being in security, but when she was younger- before the Cardassians smashed her dreams- she had wanted to be a doctor, and she thought that if she hadn't decided to fight the spoonheads she would've studied medicine.

"What, they didn't offer any other choices at Maquis boot camp?"

"It's strictly on-the-job training to get you better at what you're already good at."

"Well, I went through the five weeks of basic. I ran a lot at home, so I was in decent shape. We studied all the duties that come with the Starfleet uniform, all that stuff. When they asked us to choose a specialty, I couldn't think of anything else. I get queasy at the sight of blood, so medical and life sciences were out. I'm no good at math, so physical sciences and engineering were out. Security was the only thing I could think of that I'd be good at. Five weeks of security training, and I was assigned to the _U.S.S. Ikarlaea_."

"Eye-ka-**what?"**

"I-K-A-R-L-A-E-A is the Federation Standard spelling. It's named after a great Andorian scientist. He discovered that the reserves of natural gas could be used as fuel and started their Industrial Century. It's a very small, old science vessel. They were studying binary stars when I was on board. As far as I know, they still are."

"It doesn't sound like they needed many security personnel."

"They didn't. That's why I was transferred to _Voyager_, and here I am. It's not a very exciting life story."

"You've got years ahead of you to make it exciting."

"Ah, says the seasoned veteran. So Nester, what about you?"

"Nothing much. Are we going to play cribbage or what? I owe you an embarrassment, remember?"

"Right. And I get to go first."

"Kelly, ready to play? We can leave the embarrassing to the guys and play our own game."

"Sure." The story Harry had just told was interesting. She liked learning about people. _We all have a story or two to tell, I guess._

  
  



	2. Letting Go

LETTING GO 

"Kalay, why the long face?" Kelly watched as her friend stabbed Neelix's latest leola root creation repeatedly.

"Bad day."

"Was Tuvok harsh again?" In the past year and a half, Kalay's Vulcan superior had occasionally pointed out her errors in a very critical fashion.

"No." She stabbed her food again. What had Neelix called it- leola stuffed shells? Something like that. Actually, it rated in the top quarter of his leola root dishes, but she had no appetite. Kelly looked concerned, and she was always so supportive that Kalay felt she owed it to her friend to at least explain why she was so sullen. After all, even Kelly's limited empathy could probably pick up her anguish from anywhere on the ship. 

"Shiwa would've been thirty today."

"Your cousin."

"She always told me that on her thirtieth birthday, she was going to celebrate by going to this expensive spa a few kilometers from where we lived."

Kelly, who had mastered the art of listening, said nothing. She remembered shortly after _Voyager was stranded in the Delta Quadrant, when Kalay had needed to find a new meaning for her life._

_"Hatred for Cardassians is all I have, Kelly. I can't explain it if you don't know what I mean. My sole purpose for existing is revenge, is trying to make them suffer a fraction as much as we have. Now, out here, I can't do that. Everyone needs a reason to live, and I just don't have one anymore."_ Eventually her broken Bajoran friend had started the slow process of rebuilding her life. A month or two later, she said that Kelly, Ralph, and Harry were her family now. _"I live now, just because exploring the universe and the depths of my soul are enough. And also, because I have two lives to live: mine and Shiwa's."_

When asked who Shiwa was, she answered tersely. _"My cousin; she was killed by the Cardassians."_ Now it was time to find out why Shiwa, out of all the people on Bajor, was so important to Kalay. 

"What made Shiwa so special?"

"Come with me to the holodeck, and I'll tell you." As they walked towards the turbolift and got in, Kalay explained the program she had created. "I created a program that's the spa. Well, it's sort of the spa. The outside looks exactly like the one on Bajor. The inside, I just went with the things Shiwa told me were inside."

Moonlight bathed an old stone building. The two women stood outside and looked at it silently, Kelly waiting for the painful story she knew was coming. A small creature she couldn't identify ran a few meters in front of her, frolicking in the moonlight. Kalay took a deep breath and opened the door.

"I didn't program any people in, except for the masseuse," she said. "This is my first holodeck program, and it's too personal to ask anyone for help."

"It's very stately." 

"We walked by the outside once, when we went to one of her friends' wedding. I always imagined that the inside would be as elegant as the outside." She turned a corner, gesturing for Kelly to follow. "This way. Shiwa always said the first thing she'd do was take a mudbath."

Once they were settled in the mudbath, Kalay began her story. "We were very poor, just barely making a living, when I was young. My mom had a hard pregnancy with my younger brother when I was two. I don't remember any of this, but Shiwa told me. Mom died, and so did my brother. Dad and I survived, but he wasn't living. He was only surviving, and every day he seemed a little closer to dying. I understand now that he simply had only me to live for, and I was a painful reminder of all he'd lost. 

"By the time I was thirteen, it was harder for Dad to raise me. He didn't know how to raise an adolescent girl. I don't fault my dad for anything he didn't do, but I was glad when Shiwa took me in. She was eighteen, and I'd always looked up to her. It's because of her that I became the woman I am. I can't imagine that it was easy for her, but I loved her more than anyone in the universe. Dad was slowly wasting away, and Shiwa helped me through his death and the guilt and anger I felt. I was sixteen when he died. Four years later, Shiwa died. 

"I was twenty at the time, and we were more like sisters than ever before. She was dating a man from down the road. He was a farmer, like us, and a really nice guy. I was looking forward to the day that I knew wasn't far off, the day he proposed. As for myself, I'd found a new passion in making pottery. Things were going well- better than I had ever dared to hope for. Then they came.

"There were only ten or eleven of them, but they had all their weapons and we had nothing. Our whole community gathered together to defend ourselves, because the Cardies wanted to take our food supplies, and without them we'd all starve. Heelan, her boyfriend, was the first one to die. In a way, I think he was the luckiest, because he didn't have to see everyone else die. There was a little tiny cavern behind a boulder, big enough to conceal one person. Shiwa pushed me into it, and I begged her to stay with me. She told me that they'd find us both that way. "Kalay," she told me, "if I don't see you again on Bajor, I'll see you someday with the Prophets." Then she was gone. I saw her run, and I saw this hulking giant follow her. Then he pulled out his knife, and threw it. I couldn't even scream, couldn't bear to watch but couldn't turn away. I saw it in slow motion; the knife flew through the air and spun. It hit her in the back, but she didn't die right away. It must've been two minutes that she suffered, and that hulking pig just kicked her and walked away. At night I came out from my hiding spot. I buried Shiwa and then I ran. It hurt too much to stay. The next morning I joined the Maquis.

"I thought that maybe I could lessen my pain if I caused any Cardassians to suffer just a little. I thought that I had no choice. Now, I think Shiwa is happy, on whatever plane of existence, that I was forced to get over my vendetta and live. But oh, it still hurts! All we wanted was to be left alone and have enough to eat. Shiwa was the kindest, gentlest person in the universe. She is proud of me now, I'm sure. And yet, her death still hurts as much as it did when I saw the monster kill her."

Tears were running down both women's faces. Kelly reached over to hug Kalay. "She has every reason to be proud of you now." 

"But Kelly, in five years, I've never been able to move on. She's been gone for five years and I can't let her go. I know she would tell me to, but I just don't know how."

"I'm just a physicist, but I think you've started tonight."

For the first time all day, Kalay's nose crinkled further into a smile. 

"I'll never forget, you know."

"I don't expect you will; but I think that someday you'll be able to forgive."

"Myself, or the Cardassians?"

"Maybe both."

"I'd like that." She paused for a moment, and then added, "I know Shiwa would too."


	3. Child of the Desert

A/N: This installment takes places during the two-part episode "Basics." If you haven't seen it, there are no spoilers, but you might wonder why they're in the desert. The Kazon and Seska took over _Voyager _and left the crew on a desert planet. 

CHILD OF THE DESERT

"And I thought that I had it bad at home on Reolis. If I ever see my parent's house again, the word _primitive_ will not cross my mind." Harry sighed and added, "That doesn't seem very likely at any rate." 

"Lieutenant Paris may have escaped with the shuttle, and we still have the Doctor on the ship." Kalay, who had become more optimistic over the past few months, shivered despite her best efforts to keep her slight body warm. Perhaps now she was clinging to hope because the idea of spending the rest of her life on the desert-like, primitive planet where she had been unceremoniously dumped was unbearable. She had to believe the impossible could happen. 

"As far as anyone knows, Suder is still on board." Kelly had overheard a brief discussion of this between Commander Chakotay and Tuvok. "Maybe he can do something."

"That scum? I hope the Kazon kill him. Slowly." Harry's opinion was silently accepted as the majority, and Kelly decided it wasn't really of any great consequence at the moment anyway. 

"Kalay, you're shivering."

"I'll be fine."

Despite her protests, Kalay was soon pulled into a warming embrace by Harry, and once there her protests ceased. It was possible, Kelly thought, that those two might soon be more than friends. If so, she would be very happy for them. Kalay hadn't gotten many breaks in her life, and a good man like Harry would be a blessing for her. He had grown up a lot in the Delta Quadrant, and was an unflinchingly loyal friend who would protect those he cared about with his last breath. They were a good match. 

"Of all the planets, they have to stick us on a desert. Couldn't they at least find somewhere tropical?" moaned Harry, more to fill the empty space in conversation than any real expectation of a substantial answer. Ralph's reply, then, came as a surprise.

"I'm glad it's a desert climate. If we have to be here for a while, I'd rather it be a desert than anything else." The usually outgoing jester in Ralph had been silenced since their arrival, and it seemed that an explanation might be forthcoming. His three friends were silent, knowing that when Ralph was serious, he'd talk in his own time.

"My dad died when I was eight. He was in a hovercraft accident. The other guy was drunk. Both of them died. Mom remarried when I was ten. Bill, my stepfather, wasn't a bad guy; he taught me how to shave and drive and told me what I should never say to a woman. He made my mom happy, and I wasn't bitter that he married her or anything. I never felt like he was trying to replace Dad. 

"He didn't like the desert. Dad and I, we'd go out behind the house and camp out for a night- we lived right on the edge, and as I got older we'd go further in. He showed me how alive the desert really is, how nuanced. When I was older and he was gone, I'd go out and spend hours in the desert, eventually camping overnight. The desert stretched for kilometers, and it was so peaceful. It was my refuge. 

"I went off to college, got a degree in journalism and thought I'd start a career in it. The day I came back I saw that they were ruining the desert. I couldn't get an apartment for another month, so I was back at home, and I saw it. They were bringing in water, making room for more houses, and destroying what made the desert special. Turns out that an old rich guy died, and his son sold the land. I always wanted to find him and box his ears into his brains. By the time they were done, all that was left of the desert was the few acres Mom still owned. Then they came to her and Bill, offered them a lot of credits to sell the house and land. Apparently it was a blight on their perfect neighborhood." He stopped to scoff here. "They accepted, bought a house that they never could've afforded otherwise. I was so mad, I couldn't think straight. I'd lost the greatest legacy Dad gave me, because how could I love what wasn't there? Now, I see that Mom never loved the desert as much as Dad and I did. He was long gone, I moved out- she just moved on. Bill stayed for her, and she stayed for me. There was no reason for them to stay anymore. But I lost it. It was too painful too see what used to be my desert, too painful to cover stories about people and events where it used to be cacti and sand. So I joined the 'Fleet to get away. I got away, alright. It's ironic that I'm back on a desert."

Kalay leaned over and put a hand on his shoulder. Ralph did not normally want anyone to see him acting as though his life wasn't perfect, and she knew he must be hurting. She was more comfortable with phasers and forcefields than emotions, but she also knew that sometimes people have to do things they aren't really comfortable with to be a good friend. She tried to project more confidence than she felt. "Let it go, Ralph. It's hard, but you'll feel so much better after. I know, because I've been there."

"When I left I was barely civil to Mom and Bill, and now I'll probably never see them again! I feel like such a jerk."

Kelly, who could sense his anguish, tried to comfort him as well. "Mothers have an amazing capacity to understand and forgive."

"Yeah, but the chances of me getting to apologize are nonexistent."

"Never nonexistent, Ralph. Where's your optimism?"

"Was that on the list of Kazon-approved items to bring? Because it was a damn short list."

Harry piped up, happy to see his friend cheering up. "They bothered to write it down? I thought they just herded us off empty-handed."

"Well, at least they let us keep the uniforms."

"Seriously, Ralph. It's going to be alright." Kelly hoped that she could convince him, because whether or not he was alright depended entirely on his outlook.

He pondered this for a moment. "I want to say you're wrong, but somehow your optimism ends up being right. Lady Luck likes you."

She smiled. "How do you know I'm not Lady Luck herself?"

"If I see _Voyager_ coming back for us, I'll ask for a lock of your hair as a good luck charm." 

It had been a long road to the planet they were on, but with his friends, Ralph felt freer, more optimistic, and luckier than he had in over a decade.


End file.
